• carolccmiller

It Began As A Card Game

November 27, 2015

It Began as a Card Game.

People often ask me how I started Positive Focus. Why did I start Positive Focus? As with many things, I ‘happened’ across PF on a search for my tribe. I thought my tribe was a card league and I found out my tribe was a global movement.

The man, Ray (he was a private man so I’ve changed his name), who inspired PF transitioned today and I want to share how the smallest actions can catapult you into places you could never imagine.

Ray was a kind, funny, health conscious and simply a great guy that I met when I was racing sailboats. He was part of the crew on a friend’s boat that I raced against. After the races, we’d always hang out on their boat having a great time. We laughed, and laughed and laughed. This group of friends were tight and spent much of several summers together on the boat and often took weekend trips together during the off sailing season. We had so much fun and also supported each other through relationship endings and the deaths of some of us losing parents.

Eventually my friends sold their boat and I stopped racing. Our times together became less frequent and the entire group hasn’t been together in a few years, yet I still hold them very dear to me.  When I found out late this summer that Ray was sick and that his time was short, I wrote to him to let him know what he meant to me and how he was the reason that Positive Focus exists today. I had planned to visit him but I got a cold, then I went on a work trip and now he’s gone. I’m grateful for the phone call and for being able to tell him I LOVED him.

I share my letter to him with you as a tribute to Ray and also a simple reminder that people may never tell you exactly how you have enhanced their lives, but please know that even the smallest thing could be exactly what changes them for the better.

Dear Ray,

You just never know how someone can change your life and the lives of others, but I want you to know the impact you have had on mine and the world. 

You probably don’t even remember but back in our sailing days, you were telling me about a Euchre group you played with and I mentioned I loved that game! I was so excited to know there were leagues that played it. You said it was a gay league but I could come play as you gave me that kind and sheepish grin. I decided to look for my own league. 

So I went to craigslist to find a league, and apparently straight people don’t seem to play it, or I couldn’t find it. LOL However, I did see “If you liked the movie what the bleep do you know, you’ll like this class” post. I loved the movie, clicked on the event and began taking Science of Mind classes. It was in those classes that I started Positive Focus and from there doing free hugs locally & globally letting people know they matter.

Because of you 

Free hugs has taken place on 6 continents, 43 countries and 29 US states that I know of.

Because of you

I have had someone email me later that he had been sober for over a decade but was in a rough patch and was going to head to a bar after he got off work. He passed by us and received a hug from all of us and didn’t go to the bar.

Because of you

I have wept with an elderly woman who said she missed her husband’s hugs as he had just transitioned a few weeks prior.

Because of you

I have hugged those who have lost loved ones (death, divorce, breakup), jobs, and many have told me it was the first hug they have received in days or weeks.

Because of you

I have celebrated birthdays, weddings, new jobs, and heard people leaving us saying that made their day.

Because of you

I have been able to show thousands of people they matter in this world, simply with a hug.

Why have I been able to do that? Because of you my dear friend – who told me about a Euchre league and I went on a search for my tribe (league). I didn’t find it in Euchre, but I did find it.

I have told this story to so many people on how I started Positive Focus but realized I have never told you.

Know that although it’s been far too long since I have seen you, you are always just a hug away from my heart.

LOVE you!


So as you go about your day, share with people how they matter to you. Share a smile, a kind word, or a kind action with those you cross paths with as you never know what small action could change their world…or yours.

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Our mission is to guide and encourage people to see LOVE over fear, abundance over lack, diversity over differences, and peace over conflict... all by having a positive focus.

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