Can't make me
Have you ever tried and tried to make someone LOVE you (or like you) and all your efforts seemed to fail? In my pre-Positive Focus days, if 9 out of 10 people liked me, I found myself focused on the one who didn't... even if I didn't like them. I would spend more time thinking of how I could win that person over rather than LOVING up the people who already LOVED/liked me.
This rang true for many relationships, whether it was romance, friendship, family, or colleagues. I needed that person who didn't LOVE/like me to LOVE/like me. It was exhausting and rendered little victory in 'winning' them over. Again, these were pre-Positive Focus/coaching days. Before you feel sorry for me, I had lots of GREAT relationships, and I still do. :)
I have done much work on letting go, and guess what? I still do! From time to time, that feeling of 'making' someone LOVE/like me comes back. It might grab my attention for a bit, and then I remind myself that my time, energy, and heart are precious. I need to share it with those who want it, rather than give it to those who don't. Please know, that doesn't mean I don't LOVE/like them anymore; it means I've set a boundary on what I am willing to do to have them part of my life. For some, it's complete separation, and for others, it is limiting my interactions with them. And that is true whether it's romance, friendship, family, or work relationships.
My LOVE doesn't have conditions. My participation does.
Moving forward, I invite you to look at the relationships you struggle with by:
Knowing relationship takes work. Even our easiest relationships take work. Ask yourself if this relationship is worth putting in extra work to make it work. Only you will know if letting go or holding on is the right decision for you right now.
Asking yourself if this is a season, reason, or lifetime person. I have had to let go of people I thought were lifetime people, and through that process, I came to understand the reason they were in my life, AND I was in theirs. I thought there had been others that were just a season, and they continue on season after season.
Believing you deserve healthy LOVING relationships in all aspects of your life, not just in romance. When you start to feel that to be true, you will see how much energy you put into people who aren't your people. Please know that doesn't make them bad people; it just makes them not right for you.
Mostly, my wish for you is to stay focused on LOVE, kindness, compassion, and peace in your life. YOU are the one that creates that. Others either enhance your experience, or they detract from it. If you choose to release people from your life, send them off with LOVE. As you bring in new people into your world, welcome them in with LOVE.
Until next time, you can't make me not LOVE you.
My LOVE is infinite.
Words to LOVE by:
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."
- Maya Angelou
"You yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your LOVE and affection."
"LOVE is the great cure. LOVING ourselves works miracles in our lives."
- Louise Hay
"The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself."
- Maya Angelou